I went down to the Kahana Canoe Club Hale at 6:00 this morning to help out with the kalua turkey roast. Apart from being a veg wrist deep in greasy meat, it was a great way to start the day. I'm starting to love waking up early and getting off to a good start.

I have work later today, but if I can find the energy I might paddle out with my sister this afternoon. Waves have finally come to town and it's glassy, overcast, and perfect.

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. to release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are. -Paulo Coelho

I've had a nervous feeling in my stomach over the last couple of weeks that I just can't seem to shake... I've been getting the jitters over even the most minute of things. It would be nice to put all of this nervous energy to good use... paddling practice in half an hour. Hopefully I can wear myself out a bit.

I've really been craving a little piece of somewhere that's all my own lately. I fantasize about the day that I can comfortably afford a modest little studio that I can retreat to at the end of a long day and wake up to after a good nights sleep. It's difficult to find peace of mind when you're constantly surrounded by the semi-chaotic clutter of other people... I love the people that I live with more than I can say, but it becomes nearly impossible to miss the company of people when it's constantly there. I haven't had my own room in two years...
I've always said that I wouldn't be able to live by myself (I'm afraid of being home alone at night), but I'm beginning to change my mind. I'm beginning to think that I would love it.
For now I'll stay here so that I can afford to go to school, and in the meantime I'll do my best to appreciate living with other people. I'm sure one day I'll look back on it and miss it.